doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
