so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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