Midget sex pt 2 tonight
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
