fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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