i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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