Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
