hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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