You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
