margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I hate all girls vehemently.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
