it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
