Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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