it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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