My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Boobs are out for the taking
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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