I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
