Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize