i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
