i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
