He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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