I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize