That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
