Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
