So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize