I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize