did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
