Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
