there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize