He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
