I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He has the fingertips of a God
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize