I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
