Sry I called you an 8
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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