Where is the hickey?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!"ย, then passed out on the couch.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
"Uno mรกs" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
