I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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