What did we do last night that was yellow?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
