Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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