I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
