I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
