i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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