Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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