Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
