Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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