If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
