i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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