That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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