White coat. Heels.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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