he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
