I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
