I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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