Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize