He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
