i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
