How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
