Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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