I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
