listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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