i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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