Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
