its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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