It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
