so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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