Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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