Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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