That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
soo... how was my night?
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