I bet he comes in French.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize