you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
